Your Video Game SUCKS

So I went to PAX East this past weekend with a group of friends and it was a pretty damn good time. This is a small list of the most important things I learned while I was there because everyone fucking loves Top 5 shit.

1. Standing in line for a long time is not really worth it. If you’re not really hardcore about being in the front row you shouldn’t bother with lining up hours before an event. Honestly, the experience from the back of the room is exactly the same, a claim I would not have made before this event. By the same token, if a line doesn’t move within 5 minutes, get out of it and do something else. Every time I did something contrary to these rules I ended up having less fun. The keynote and PA panels with Gabe and Tycho had really long lines that started hours before the event, but if you showed up just as the thing started you still would have gotten in very easily, you’d just have to sit/lay on the floor. (The floor is arguably more comfy.) Same thing with the concerts. For panels, you might have to stand in line early to get in, the Naughty Dog panels were obviously underestimated in popularity but other than that — standing in line is for chumps.

Playing any games on the show floor will most likely require you to get into a line. Unfortunately, this for the most part can’t be avoided but once again, keeping tabs on a five minute limit on real line movement or some sort of indication of being able to play soon will keep you from being a chump. Games are great, but seriously, I’m gonna be able to play the games at the show in the comfort of my own home later in the year, there’s no need to wait in line when I could be doing something else fun.

2. Do not rent a car to drive to the event. The group I went with voted to rent a car to drive to PAX and though it worked out in the end it was ridiculously expensive. I don’t even want to go into it here but there was an option to take the Boltbus to Boston, which is a really nice bussing line by the way, and next time I go to Boston I will break from being in a car to being on a bus with provided wi-fi at a fraction of the cost.

3. Don’t get arrested.

4. Plan to eat. Not planning what and when you’re going to eat ahead of time can be disastrous. You don’t have to actually sit down and create a schedule or anything but know when you’ll want to eat next and pick a place at least six hours ahead. Conventions draw tons of people and will put a strain on any food establishment in the area. Reservations are a must for any popular restaurant or bar, they may be very packed and have you standing in line waiting. Once again, waiting in line is for chumps.

5. Bring extra batteries for mobile things or have a good plan to provide them with energy for at least 8 hours. The Nintendo DS lasts for pretty much that amount of time since it has nearly zero modern technology in it. Cell phones with nice screens, data pulling and/or GPS will probably require a charge before these 8 hours are up, same thing with laptops. Make sure you have some sort of plan to either keep these things going or doing without.

So PAX East was a blast and I’ll definitely be doing it again next year, albeit with a much better plan for having even more fun.